I have been asked if the photos on my site are those which I have taken, and the answer is yes, these are photos I have taken. Each of them do represent a moment in time that I will always cherish and are treasures of days which I feel fortunate to have had.
I do appreciate the comment regarding my profound statement (even if I really don't find it very profound). Over the past few years, I have struggled with the balances of life where the things we must do out of necessity tend to overshadow the things we do for own self fulfillment or development.
Being a mother, as many of you are, I have become painstakingly aware that my life has been defined by the actions I have taken as a parent, being both mother and father to my two children. Although this is not an uncommon thing, it has been challenging to stay focused on the wonders of life and not be distracted by the responsibilities that abound us. My children are wonderful blessings and I may not have been motivated to accomplish certain things in my life had I not done so out of the single necessity to provide for them. I will always owe them for my enduring perseverance and problem solving nature. However, out of that great determination and movement through life's many obstacles, I have realized that I may have lost a part of who I am in the process.
Turning 40 this year was a point in time where I looked around and said "who is this person ?" And no, I would never describe this as a mid-life event, but maybe as an awakening just at a time when my children are becoming more independent. I am a hard working professional by day and a mother by night (really 24 hours a day), but who am I really without those things ? Although my commitment as a mother will be forever, I do not wish to look back upon my life and have any regrets that I did not accomplish something more or failed to have certain experiences at an age when I was young enough to appreciate them.
I realize that many moms may take offense to this and may see this as a selfish thing, since we do indeed make a choice to bring children into the world. I know of many women who look at motherhood as self-sacrifice and I will always have the utmost respect and admiration for them. However, it is also that same selfishness which drives us to procreate and allows us to continue the circle of life that we do find so fulfilling and wonderful because selfishly it makes US happy. Being a mother is very rewarding along with the great blessings that children and grandchildren can bring into our lives. But trying to find the perfect balance in life that allows us to keep a sense of who we are as individuals and also continue to be Superwoman to our children, is a very high mountain to climb. (for me anyway)
Until recently, I never realized just how important it was to make those moments that are truly for me alone, no matter how small. I have a great desire to allow myself the opportunity to recapture the person that I envision being and the goals that I long ago wished to accomplish for myself as an individual. The happiness and contentment of that accomplishment will indeed bring a more self-assured and happy mother to my children. My wish is that they not only learn from my mistakes, but that they will also learn from my example to be independent and self-aware. I want them to know that it is okay to enjoy life from many different angles and elevations. I do believe that the only limitations that we have, are the ones that we place upon ourselves.
I welcome your comments, as I am sure someone else may have faced similar events. I would love to hear your stories.
More to follow....
3 days ago